– October 1st
So… it’s been a while since I’d been interested in chastity play but recently it has become more appealing to me. Luckily it was the perfect time of year for giving it another go! I have followed Lady Valeska for a while and even had the honour of having a session with her a while ago, so when I learned she did key-holding it felt like a no-brainer. Arranging this was simple and only made me more excited.
So, the 1st of October came and I was ready. In the morning I had my final clean and shave, then I locked on my cage. It took a little while to get it on comfortably, but I got it eventually. Then I put the key in an envelope and sent it to Lady Valeska. It was the first time I had ever actually sent my key to anyone and it was an odd but very pleasurable feeling, it cemented the lack of control I would have until the key was returned. After that the day was pretty uneventful, I’m not sure my body had realised what it was in for.
– October 8th
Overall, that last week has been slightly tougher than I was expecting. During the day, things are alright, the cage is very mildly uncomfortable and going to the loo can be slightly awkward but apart from that it’s been fine.
The evenings and nights have been less… easy. Once I’m not at work daydreaming about kinky things happens a lot more, which leads to inevitable growth and pain in my cage. I’ve tried distracting myself with videogames and TV, but it doesn’t really help. Despite this, the denial of pleasure due to someone holding the key makes it a weirdly sexy experience, so I actually enjoy it. Looking at twitter and Onlyfans doesn’t help, I sometimes have to clean up precum that dribbled out while I’ve been looking at posts.
Trying to sleep can get uncomfortable, I’ve been woken up most nights due to erections (can’t find a nice way to say that) and it takes a little while to get back to sleep.
The worst time I’ve had so far was when I sent someone a message on Onlyfans and in response they sent a personalised voice message. It was an unexpected response and made me sooo hard and I leaked so much precum that I had to have a shower after it. It was the closest I’ve come to having an orgasm with no stimulation I have had in over a year. It’s one of the most interesting parts of the chastity experience to me. In my everyday life I usually masturbate most days so being unable to act on a sexual urge is still a bit weird and my body is starting to feel the difference. It feels like I am mid-way through a wank almost constantly, it’s starting to get really frustrating.
All that in mind, I would say this week has gone pretty well. I’ve had no issues worth mentioning and I’m looking forward to the rest of the month.
– October 12th
Right, this part will require some explanation. I had a 2 part realisation that my chastity seems to have revealed.
So, realisation part 1. Last night I put on my new latex bodysuit with a couple of other things and then got talking with someone on twitter. It was a guy I had messaged with a couple of times as we had a shared love of latex, however he was interested men and I am (usually) not. We started talking and I started getting into it and then we both decided that I would tease him with a fantasy of us playing together. To cut a long story short, I got him off playing his gimp and I actually really enjoyed it. To clarify, I don’t usually consider myself bi, but in a purely BDSM setting I think I might be curious.
The other part was to do with dealing with the frustration of being in chastity. For the last couple of days I had been super horny, to the point where it was hard to think of anything other than wanting to wank. However, after my sexting session (makes it sound old fashioned) I felt way less frustrated. I hadn’t had any physical stimulation or an orgasm, but I no longer felt the overriding need to wank. This was a surprise to me but I think it was related to having an outlet for my horniness, namely getting another person off. It feels like my frustration was lessened by using the sexting to ‘get off vicariously’ via him.
This might be my grasping at straws, but there is a definite reduction in my background level of horniness (even when I’m blogging I sound like a nerd)
– October 15th
The last week has been noticeably tougher than the last. In the first week of Locktober I was able to function pretty normally during the day. I was able to avoid any unwanted erections by making sure that I didn’t think about any actively kinky. However this week I got erections for almost no reason, ranging from seeing a good looking girl on a TV show to just putting on some of the nitrile gloves I use all the time at work. I never usually get as horny as I have been, it’s quite a strange feeling. It probably didn’t help that I set a picture of Lady Valeska as my phone background so every time I used it I was reminded of my predicament which was actually super-hot.
– October 20th
Last night I had a wet dream. Honestly, this is something I consider very embarrassing and quite humiliating. I have never had a wet dream in normal life it’s only ever happened to me when locked. The only memory of why it happened was a dream I was having that had a number of people dressed in latex doing various kinky things to each other.
Having this happen made me realise how embarrassed/ owned I can feel. It makes me feel so controlled when someone can make me lose control of this particular bodily function. I’m not sure it’s a pleasurable experience, like when I get an erection I can’t act on, but it is extremely potent.
– October 22nd
Not much change at the moment. The wet dream I had did not affect how horny I have been. The smallest thought even vaguely related to kink makes my cage very uncomfortable. The worst time this has happened so far was when I was on a boring call with various colleagues at work and I spaced out thinking about a clip I had seen on onlyfans. I got super hard and was then asked a question by my boss, trying to remember some obscure engineering fact while also trying not to get distracted by my cock being in pain is an amazing difficult thing to do. Luckily the nights are still alright, my body still realising that it’s only hurting itself when it wakes me up with night time erections.
I have to admit I am looking forward to the end of Locktober now it’s closer, but it has been a lot of fun so far and I imagine the last week will only be more intense.
– October 31st
So the month draws to a close. Thinking back there is a lot to try and process and I’m not sure I’ve got to grips with all of them.
Over all this month has really reminded me how much control someone can have by merely denying me access to myself. It is strange to think that as I don’t consider myself controlled my “small brain” but after a month I think if someone (especially Lady Valeska) clicked their fingers I would do anything for release. I know that is probably a dangerous thing to say in the context of BDSM but, if encouraged in person, there are very few things I would not be willing to do while in my current mindset. I’ve known for a while that being denied puts me in a super kinky/ slutty mind set but this month appears to have been the worst for this.
Part of the key holding arrangement I had with Lady Valeska involved sending weekly updates on how I was doing and this was a lot of fun to do. It made me look back and relive the thoughts from the past week and realise how much fun being locked was. I cannot thank her enough for being part of this fantastic experience, and I look forward to playing with her again in the future.
– November 1st
Yesterday evening the envelope containing my key arrived. When I saw the post on the doormat I was stunned. My brain had trouble processing what had just arrived. Anyway, it wasn’t the end of Locktober yet so I left everything locked up until this morning.
When I woke up this morning, I had an erection and I could finally do something about it. As it was a bit of a special occasion, I decided to put on some latex and my hood. Once this was all on I used the returned key to unlock myself. It was a very odd feeling, having an erection without it being trapped. Once I had properly cleaned down there (it had been a month after all) I did what I had been told to do by Lady Valeska and got myself into a position to make a video of myself jerking off to one of her videos. Once I got into position I started a custom clip I had ordered several months ago and started jerking. After only 30 seconds the sound of Lady Valeska’s voice and jerking for the first time in a month had me right on the edge. I tried to last a bit longer but very shortly I had an amazing orgasm. It wasn’t spectacular to look at, I didn’t spurt everywhere like a geyser, but it was incredibly satisfying. After a long time in chastity the first orgasm is a very liberating experience, a lot of frustration is dealt with. It took me a while to recover from the release, just lying there feeling and smelling the latex I was wearing. Being locked up really made me appreciate how much I loved being kinky and especially how much I love being dressed in latex.
As a final thought, I would just like to thank Lady Valeska again for enabling this month of kinky fun. It was an incredible experience and I would recommend it for anyone else interested in chastity play!
Stay safe and Stay kinky!